even my farts smell like vagina
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize