she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
