I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize