i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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