Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Randomize
