You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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