He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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