My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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