sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
PANTIES FOUND
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