Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
