I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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