every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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