In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
