you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
