Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
