Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Barsexuality is the new black.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
