we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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