He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
