Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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