There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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