we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
