You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
