she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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