ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
