OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
