U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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