And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
