You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
