We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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