Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
