How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
