my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
