two words: eviction party
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
