That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
