I think im going to throw up on grandma
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
