I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
