You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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