You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Dicks are not precious.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
