he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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