After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
