they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
