i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
