just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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