Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
