Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
