Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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