Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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