Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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