Yo dont text me then not text me
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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