i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
