If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize