I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
honey bunches of taint.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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