cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
