i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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