the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
