chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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