No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
