nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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