Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
