Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
